I’ve always been a person to expect life’s next move. Like the coast shapes the water, the water shapes the coasts. These equal yet opposite forces combine to form the self. I do believe we are, within approximate boundaries, birthed by nature and solidified by nurture, still amorphous and malleable. We draw maps to chart our terrain, but distorted are all maps, as life.
My final offer has been severed! So what’s the sitch?
Previously I discussed on possible jail time, and why I didn’t believe it was something that I should have been offered in the first place. A scrawny guy like me would not make it out alive if the movies were an actual representation of what it’s like in there.
My public defender had urged me to turn in my character reference letters, and other important papers before the second court day I had. I did just that.
Unfortunately I had reached yet another hiccup in this wonderful journey… she had forgot to read them and send them to the DA! At first, I was a little ruffled because I really just wanted to move on, but then she informed me she had won a similar case as this and could possibly win mine too. I didn’t have an arm or leg to lose, so I kept my giddy facade.
Understanding that she was busy made sense, but in two weeks how she couldn’t get to my case really vexed me. So, we were back in square one.
She apologized to the judge, and we asked for yet another extension. July 5th was the day I would walk in for the final time.
(Wanted to cherish my family a bit July 4th, and the fourth (star wars reference) was not with me from then on.)
“Okay, so, it’s a good thing you turned in the papers. The DA looked through them, and they have brought the offer down (Down!?(This didn’t sound good)). I’m sorry but they still want you to serve some time because of how fast you were driving… 60 days in county… I’m going to be real truthful with you, they might only have you there for about two weeks. I am almost certain that you will not serve the full 60 days.”
Judge: “To the charges of driving under the influence how do you plea?”
“You do understand that drinking and driving is never okay…. that from this day forward if you are in another drinking and driving incident and hurt/kill someone you can/will, depending on the severity, be charged with possible murder?”
“Yes your honor.”
I left the court room shook. There was no way out of it. I chose the surrender day; July 31 (tomorrow, if you’re reading it the day I post.), and went on my way.
I wasn’t dreaming anymore, jail was my next stop in this journey.
My biggest concern with going to jail was my job because its a place I love to work. Would my manager fire me after hearing my situation? Up to this point I had not told many of what I was going through. It was time to be upfront with my general manager. To my surprise she was very sympathetic toward it all, and extremely helpful (Shout out to the real MVP.).
I cant describe the feeling or thoughts I’ve been going through thinking about what jail is really like. What will I do? What is there to eat? Am I really going to encounter a fight? All I know is that it does not sound too appealing.
By the time you read this I’ll either be clearing my mind of negative thoughts before surrendering, or (if you are reading a couple days after the published day) I’ll be serving the time for my crime.
From the launch of this voyage, serving time never crossed my mind! Never in my entire life did I believe I’d see the inside of a jail cell: drinking was also something I never thought I would be doing as a down time.
Look, I’ve grown up in the church all my life. The biggest sin I had known was lying and stealing. They say that you never forget your roots and where you came from. This stands 100 percent true. Albeit not continuing my current life in the church, I’ve always known what walking away from God could bring me. I’ve reaped just that: disaster.
Posting about my DUI was the hardest thing to date. The shame I felt knowing my church ‘friends’ would see, was frightening. The stigma that follows people with DUI’s also irks me. I know people will always talk, judge, and form their own opinions based on situations. I’m no saint, trust me.
Despite what you believe, or are going through, know that everything will be okay. Every cloud has a silver lining.
For me, I want this experience to be one where I can reset my life. I want to realign the goals I had set for myself, but have yet to accomplish. I want direction for my future. It’s going to be extremely difficult living without social media, but it’s for the best.
This is not the end of my journey, but for now I must proceed. I’ll be back sooner than 60 days (I hope I’m not jinxed) describing my experience behind bars. Wish me a speedy release.
Anyway, see you guys in 60 days! And when I’m finally free, back to the drawing board I go! The balls in my court!
(Don’t drink and drive!)
Farewell, for now.